Another 1:14 am thought...

Remember this feeling. The after concert feeling- like I can do anything just do it and try it stupid don't even think about it- feeling. When you were at that concert, you felt fearless. You were wishing he would just show up out of nowhere because, in that moment, you felt the courage to say hi. Too bad you can't try until tomorrow. And when you get the chance tomorrow, you won't. Because that feeling of courage will be gone.  But remember it. Try hard and remember it. Place yourself back at the concert. Remember the way you felt. The feeling like someone sucked out all of your insides and you're just standing in a room with a bunch of people watching these amazing guys do something amazing and bone chilling and it makes you feel like your life is crap and all you want to do is take risks and do things and don't hold back feeling. THAT feeling. There's only one thing that gives you that feeling. Music. Because when you leave the concert, feeling like you're bleeding in front of everyone, but no, it's just your emotions.....that feeling is something you'll never feel again until you're at a concert again with a bunch of strangers and standing in a darkened ugly room waiting for that intense moment for the cheers and screams and the first note. The night of a concert, when you finally rest your head on your pillow, and crack a wide smile....that feeling is due to music. concerts. musicians. artists. performers. You may try to fill the cracks with something else, but nothing works. It's concerts. Those days are the days that you felt fearless, risky, bold, brave, and gutsy. If you're waiting to feel like that again, if you try...it won't happen. It can't just happen. So try to place yourself back in that moment, when the music is filling you up again....and channel the way you felt and just do it. Don't worry. Don't be scared. Don't be nervous. Stop thinking, more doing.